THINGS I WISH MY DOG WOULD TALK TO ME ABOUT
as someone living alone, sometimes I need a damn honest opinion or some nice conversation. so far, my dog has yet to deliver.
- •whether or not I look fat in this.I feel like my mirror is biased
- •why she's whining.
- •do I really need to vacuum.
- •if the answer to #3 is yes, do I HAVE to mop too.
- •how funny that thing I just said was.
- •did that fart come out of her or meI know the answer 92% of the time. I just want to hear what she thinks/how often she blames me when company is over.
- •how great is it to have someone feed you, pick up your poops, play with you, and make you snuggle them, even when you don't want to.
- •is he really just not that into me.
- •why would something that can have an intelligent conversation continue to lick her butt. am I just jealous about not being that limber.
- •why would she come inside, be totally excited about it, stare at me for five minutes straight then be totally excited to go back outside.
- •who's her favorite character on Bobs Burgers.I'm guessing Tina because they're both into butts. and Tina's my fave too.
- •when's the last time I went grocery shopping.
- •what's the deal with these weird chin hairs I got.why there keep being moar.
- •so many more topics, I'm sure.. this list is in no way exhaustive.