THIS JUST CAME FOR ME

in the mail, ya bunch of pervs. but, you're right. I wish it were the other meaning. can't wait to make that list.
  1. awesome
  2. it'll go great with this
    favorite t shirt ever
  3. but, I don't know who sent it
    no note, nothing. just an Amazon return label.
  4. first thought: fuck, drunk Amazon-ing.
    but at least I've upped my game. meaning more respectable purchases.
  5. second thought: if I ordered this while drunk, what else did I order?!
    genuine terror.
  6. checked my Amazon, wasn't me.
  7. third thought: is this the work of my soulmate?!??!?
    but that's highly unlikely. and if any of the gents I've been hanging out with found my address to send this, that's real terror.
  8. but really I have no idea so, I guess I'll just live in this limbo of uncertainty and actual fear forever.
    real excited to read it, though.
  9. UPDATE: after telling my mother of my good fortune, she confirmed it was my dad.
    and sent some, expected, dad jokes