WHAT I JUST THREW AWAY

woke up a little early, decided I'd clean out my fridge because I'm a filth monster. I realize what comes next is going to sound wasteful. because it is. for that, I feel bad.
  1. 1/8 of a watermelon that had begun to liquefy
    I guess summers officially over
  2. 1/3 of a pint of blueberries that had shriveled to just slightly larger than the atoms that make them up
  3. a little thing of salsa from a taco stand I ate at four months ago
    which I dropped on the floor on the way to the trash. I'll be finding dried salsa from that explosion for the next four months
  4. 1/4 of a container of spring mix
    it had lost all that was spring-y about it and was a melted mass of green gunge. I'd started referring to it as the goblin's bush, like an old friend: "you going out tonight?" "nah, me and the goblin's bush are gonna Netflix and chill."
  5. 7 cherry tomatoes
    at least, I think that's what they were
  6. a large piece of what little dignity I have left with the publication of this list