Ultimate Opening Song Lyrics

The best/funniest/most poignant/poetic/abstract opening songs lyrics. I banned myself from the obvious Morrissey/Leonard Cohen clichés. Interestingly there are no women in there, it's not a coincidence though. I'm very sexist
  1. Bitch Went Nuts- Ben Folds
    "The bitch went nuts/ She stabbed my basketball and the speakers to my stereo/ She called me cunt/ But nothing prepared me for what I found when I came home"
  2. Kinky Afro- Happy Mondays
    "Son I'm 30, I only went with your mother 'cos she's dirty"
  3. The Rat- The Walkmen
    "You've got a nerve to be asking a favour/ You've got a nerve to be calling my number"
  4. Jessica- Adam Green
    "Jessica Simpson, where has your love gone? It's not in your music, no. You need a vacation, to wake up the cavemen and take them to Mexico"
  5. Nancy- Father John Misty
    "Oh pour me another drink/ and punch me in the face/ You can call me Nancy"
  6. Martell- The Cribs
    "How hard can it be to get a slap on a back in a room full of morons?/ So you hate my sunglasses? Well your precious Leeds is dead"
  7. Puncture Repair- Elbow
    " I leaned on you today/ I regularly hurt but never say"
  8. Witness (1 Hope)- Roots Manuva
    "Taskmaster burst the bionic zit splitter/ Breakneck speeds me drown 10 pints of bitter"
  9. Making Plans For Nigel- XTC
    "We're only making plans for Nigel/ We only want what's best for him./We're only making plans for Nigel/ Nigel just needs that helping hand"
  10. Jo Jo's Jacket- Stephen Malkmus
    "I'm not what you think I am/ I'm the king of Siam/I've got a bald head/My name is Yul Brynner/And I am a famous movie star"