WHY 3RD GRADE PAIGE WAS AN ASSHOLE

This list is dedicated to Nathan, who texted me today with a fun tidbit
  1. This time of year reminds all of my former classmates of the time I 'apparently' spilled the Santa secret.
  2. I don't think that it happened, but most of them confirm it to this day
  3. And call me out on it every year
    Thx for making me feel like shit for something I did in 3rd or 4th grade guys
  4. And I really don't remember doing this, but the ones who mention it swear it's true
  5. And also 3rd grade seems late to find out now, no?
  6. Do they want apology letters? Did I really ruin their childhoods that much?
  7. Anyways....
  8. THAT'S RIGHT EVERYBODY, I'VE BEEN RUINING LIVES AND BLOWING MINDS SINCE THE 3RD GRADE
  9. So this year, don't tell your 3rd grade children the truth, because they will (allegedly) tell their classmates and as a result ruin their classmate's childhoods and lives. And your kid will get shit for it 10 years later