WHY 3RD GRADE PAIGE WAS AN ASSHOLE
This list is dedicated to Nathan, who texted me today with a fun tidbit
- •This time of year reminds all of my former classmates of the time I 'apparently' spilled the Santa secret.
- •I don't think that it happened, but most of them confirm it to this day
- •And call me out on it every yearThx for making me feel like shit for something I did in 3rd or 4th grade guys
- •And I really don't remember doing this, but the ones who mention it swear it's true
- •And also 3rd grade seems late to find out now, no?
- •Do they want apology letters? Did I really ruin their childhoods that much?
- •THAT'S RIGHT EVERYBODY, I'VE BEEN RUINING LIVES AND BLOWING MINDS SINCE THE 3RD GRADE
- •So this year, don't tell your 3rd grade children the truth, because they will (allegedly) tell their classmates and as a result ruin their classmate's childhoods and lives. And your kid will get shit for it 10 years later