1. They're obviously using the animal to over compensate for something
  2. They probably have full length conversations with their pets where they think up a response for their pet and then respond to it
  3. They call themselves mommy or daddy to the pet a ridiculous amount
  4. They will show you a million pictures of their pet expecting you to be really impressed by each and every one
  5. They think their animal is really special and are more enthusiastic about the pet than the average parents are to newborn babies
  6. Why does your dog need a last name? It's creepy just stop