Crushes I've Had That Speak Volumes About My Daddy Issues
I was a teenager in the 90s and crushed hard on old men. Let me count the ways:
- •Age 10 Crush: Gene WilderTHOSE BLUE EYES THO!
- •Age 12 Crush: DataNot Brent Spiner, the man who PLAYED Data. Just Data. That emotionless expression, his unlimited artificial intellect and my need to make that robot boy FEEL something (he WAS a fully functioning android) made for an intense crush era. I was never into sci-fi, Star Trek/Wars, whatever... but the first time I saw that golden bastard glow in his tight little space suit, I became a woman.
- •Age 13 Crush: Kelsey Grammer (Frasier Crane)He's listening, you guys. And he listened his way into my horny little heart... until...
- •Age 13: David Hyde Piece (Niles Crane)... the brother came along. I kept it in the family. Anybody else seeing a trend of hardcore lust towards pretentious figures with overt intellect?
- •Age 14 until 15 (or the year I finally obtained an appropriately aged boyfriend): Michael Crawford.Ah Michael... The most intense of my loves. I both wanted him to be my daddy AND my "daddy." It was complicated. I "met" him through my growing (and still relevant) phandom of The Phantom of the opera
- •Sure his character was a deformed stalker of an innocent girl and murdered anybody who stood between he and his victimized chorus girl. Who cares that he murders innocent people? THAT PANTY MELTING, "MUSIC OF THE NIGHT" VOICE was all that mattered. He was just a misunderstood murderer you guys... I loved him so...