My favorite loaf-shaped animals
Bodies come in all shapes, including that of "loaf."
- •Guinea pigsMini loaves that scream like souls in hell every time you crack open the fridge.
- •GroundhogsBeing loaf-shaped is not conducive to maintaining a sleek, aerodynamic gait, especially when tumbling away from the happy fat lady who just wants to cuddle.
- •Guinea FowlTeeny-tiny wings, shrunken prune for a head, and no shits given. Guinea Fowl is all of us.
- •Harp SealUnfortunately, it's signature loafish cuteness makes it comfort food for the waning polar bear population. The #loaflife has major downsides.
- •Ulysses... My catHis loafy physique is hard earned and comes from his affinity for butter, cords to our very much UNwireless speakers, and the giant mosquitos who sneak in through giant mosquito sized holes in our screen.