Summer Things

(From the southeastern Michigan perspective)
  1. Watermelon bloat.
    The only cure is more watermelon.
  2. Bonding with folks from all walks of life over the perils of boob sweat and swamp ass.
  3. Swamp ass.
  4. Literally peeling your undergarments off at the end of a sweaty day.
    Diagnosis: swamp ass.
  5. A miraculous burp of fresh breeze following a never ending period of stagnant, suffocating temperatures.
  6. Air conditioner smell.
    Yankee Candle needs to make this happen.
  7. The fierce drone of bugs and the tremolo of chirping things...
    It's like the crawling things are bitching about the heat in unison.
  8. Finding corn debris wedged between your molars...
    ...though it's been 3 days since you had corn on the cob.
  9. Heat lightning. Hell yeah.
  10. Boxing your own ear going after whatever blood sucking demon made the 'brrrzzzzzzzt!!' noise so close to your brain.
  11. Hot asphalt roasting in the sun...its smell and its unnerving pliability at certain temperatures.
  12. A random whiff of musty rain summoning the ominous black clouds from the west.
  13. Crispy, struggling grass beneath bare feet
  14. Chlorine stench even after showering a few times
  15. Sun drunkenness and the resulting exhaustion.
    Like I have right now!