HOW TO DO PHYSICS

So here's the DL on physical phenomenon filibustering facetiously in interspace-ial brain-busting...
  1. Kinesthetics/Kinematics
    Different from the Chekovian acting responses, this is like: I crash into you, which exerts a force on you, you move in a certain direction based on me crashing into you. Velocity is like how fast are you going to run out of your physics class when you see problem 1 on your final, time is that stuff that flies when you're having fun not doing physics, acceleration is like roller coasters but less safety, and distance is like google maps saying Oxnard is 188 miles from San Diego.
  2. Force
    Unfortunately, not THAT Force. I'm no Yoda, But, may the Mass*Acceleration be with you anyway. Cause you know it is. Even you sitting down reading this, your force down, exerts a force up. Thanks, Newton. There's also the centri-forces... Petal is IN, Fugal is OUT. Fugal has a "u" and so does "out." Thanks again, Newton.
  3. Gravity
    Aaaaaaaahhhhhh SPLAT. Thanks, Gravity. Remember, Gravity is a law. You have to obey it. (Thanks, Newton). There's no working around 9.8 m/s^2 unless you're a 30% efficient engine attached to a propeller attached to wings attached to a yaw all attached to a steering device. Or rocket fuel. Blast off-- away from your final.
  4. Work
    That thing you come home from then have a cigarette after commenting on Helen's damn fine casserole. But then critique her on the efficiency in which she completed the casserole, and then you show her how it's done. Then you question your own ability at the efficiency in which your completing your physics final. It all comes down to work, folks. Bring home that bacon, win that bread. Physics needs you.
  5. Torque
    I can only generate about the torque of a hamster in a spinning wheel. Moral of the story: humans ain't that swell at producing tangential force. But ya know what we are good at? Screwing. So we made screwdrivers and wrenches. ...You could say the screwdrivers torque care of us. HA.
  6. Other stuff that comes later
    Magnetism and fragmatism don't give me your dogmatism. I ain't no physics mastermind so please on my final be kind. Your lenses can't hold these tenses. Your lasers can't match my phasers. Captain Picard won't wear no leotard, so please step back, no pleo-tard ya retard. I'm a coming atcha with my mad physics rap, so you can make your final tap...Out.