THE TALE OF TRIFLES THAT PREVENTED TWO LOVERS FROM ENTRY TO PROM - PT. I

  1. So lemme tell ya a little story bout the time I took @dax to her Junior year Prom on April 30th
  2. It was being held at a fancy venue Downtown
  3. She had bought the tickets early early, when they were on sale for confident prom-goers
  4. Boo flippin yah
  5. So while on Spring Break, we did some shopping
  6. We made a day of it in LA with @ziggy
  7. We went to Sunset Blvd and hit up numerous thrift & vintage shops
  8. And eventually we landed at Ragg Mopp Vintage
  9. While perusing their wares I caught a glimpse of a 3-piece tux tucked in a corner at the verrrrry back of the shop
  10. Tag said: 1930's Vintage 3-piece tuxedo, $145
    It's very Fred Astaire, Johnny Walker, ya know long tails and spatsy. Aka gorgeous
  11. I examined the garments and thought "hey wonder if this fits"
  12. So I asked the lady "hey would this fit my abnormal proportions"
  13. And she was like "dunno darlin but there's a fitting room"
  14. "Hey look a fitting room"
  15. So I go into the fitting room and put this nearly mint condition tuxedo on
    It's only missing 4 buttons, 100% wool, and has those old side adjuster tabs on the trousers
  16. It fits near perfect
    Little tightness in the shoulders
  17. ...the sleeve length fits (WHAT?!)
  18. ...the trouser length fits (HOW THE?!)
  19. ...the trouser waist fits (THIS ISN'T REAL)
  20. ...the waistcoat fits (WHO WEARS THESE)
  21. So I'm like, "Daxy, what do I do"
  22. She's like "I'll loan you $$$"
  23. And I'm like, "nah I got funds but I need some counsel"
  24. So she's like "call your mom"
  25. "Hey mom, should I buy this vintage 3-piece tux that fits my abnormal body?"
  26. "Hell yeah son!"
  27. $145 and a trip home later, I gotta tux for prom that I didn't even set out to obtain. Score
  28. Fast forward a few weeks
  29. I research the label "Brokaw Bros." on the inside of the tailcoat
  30. The brothers made their clothing line during the era of Prohibition
  31. Which meant a handful of coats made during the era possessed "hidden booze pockets" in the lining of the tails
  32. Which meant I sprinted to my tailcoat to find the legendary booze pockets, and sure enough, they were there
  33. *cue angelic, yet Jazzy, aria*
  34. Furthermore...
  35. Turns out, the Brokaw Brothers were famous millionaire clothiers that F. Scott (ya know, Fitzgerald) was buddies with
  36. Also turns out, one brother in particular was F. Scott's inspiration for —duh duh duh duhhhh— JAY FLIPPIN GATSBY
    Yeah. My brain oozed out my ears.
  37. *cue second aria*
  38. And so, the event of taking Daxy to prom became a titch more classier, and dare I say...infamous
  39. But we never arrived
  40. To be continued...