1. I have never been interested in having explained why my phone/laptop is inferior to an Apple product.
  2. I would never call someone before 9 a.m. on their day off, unless there was an actual emergency, BECAUSE I'M NOT A MONSTER.
  3. I've never cared to watch concert footage on someone's Snapchat; or Instagram story; or Facebook feed.
  4. Oreos are overrated. Yeah, fight me!
  5. If you've sent two (2) IM messages and the other person hasn't replied yet, you should stop sending things until they reply.
  6. The first person who thought to put a hook on the inside of public bathroom doors deserves the highest honor in the land.