CHEDDAR CHAIRLIE'S DARK SECRET

  1. So yesterday, when I was moving Cheddar Chairlie to my new room, his pillow slipped and I caught a glimpse of the horrors beneath
  2. I lost it—it was too fittingly ugly
  3. Not that I was laughing really hard, or at all
  4. Just how visually disgusting this chair is never ceases to surprise me
  5. Although tbh I should have gotten used to it a long time ago
  6. This was just ridiculous
  7. My brain wanted to laugh but my eyes wanted to cry
  8. I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS
  9. I was all "let's give this a chance"
  10. Until I did—what can I say, did you *SEE* this?
  11. HOW CAN THIS CHAIR BE SO FANTASTICALLY REVOLTING
  12. AND HOW CAN I SO ADORE SUCH A BASTARDIZED PIECE OF FURNITURE
  13. IT'S LIKE THE 70'S ATE 50 POUNDS OF CHEESE AND THREW IT UP AGAIN IN THE FORM OF AN UPHOLSTERED ROCKING-CHAIR
  14. AND CUPID THEN SHOT BOTH ME AND THE PILE OF VOMIT WITH HIS BOW
  15. I can't hand the arm cloths. I will pretend they don't exist.