LIVE LISTING THE LOSS OF MY MULAN VIRGINITY

  1. So I've seen almost no Disney movies
  2. And Mulan hasn't even been spoiled for me
  3. Paying attention and listing may be hard
  4. This bird is clearly evil
  5. I *knew* it
  6. Wait, wasn't the wall to defend against the Mongols? Why is this about the Huns?
  7. Is that Jiminy Cricket?
  8. Grandma. Is. Freaking. Awesome.
  9. First song: The Patriarchy, the musical
  10. This cricket isn't all he's cracked up to be
  11. She will *totally* bring her family honor! You're on the wrong side of history, match-maker!
  12. That was a short song
  13. What a great dad
  14. "Hold her tongue in a man's presence?" W H A T
  15. Ok this no caps thing may be cramping my style
  16. yesssss Mulan
  17. Well hello Mr. Ancestor
  18. The ancestors are the best! Except apparently the crossdressing great-grandfather? Rude
  19. Well, oops, Mooshoo
    Look, I know I'm spelling it wrong
  20. They be*lieved* him?
  21. "Shan U. Has his eyeliner game goin' on"—fellow movie watcher
  22. THERE IT IS. DISHONOR ON YOUR WHOLE FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR COW
    I KNOW THIS
  23. Cap is hawtt!
  24. Headcannon: Mushu's dad is Donkey from Shrek
    He married a dragon! It works!
  25. LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS
  26. TO DEFEAT THE HUNS
  27. They DID send a daughter! It makes sense now!
  28. Aw, he wants to return the doll! How sweet!
  29. Mewshoe sees right through Mulan's feelings—but that's not hard
  30. That's *forgery!*
  31. Resolve. Please. Finish the song.
    ...for.
  32. Oh right, the general's his dad.
    Nepotism is almost always funny... Until your boss dies.
  33. *Not* cool, chirpy!
  34. This is scary
  35. There's like a million Huns and 7 of them!
  36. Just blow on it, Mooshoo!
  37. How!? It's just a string!
  38. Movie buddy: "🙄it's a flesh wound"
  39. And now you're mad she's a girl!!!?
  40. DONT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF MULAN! YOU'RE AMAZING
  41. I *KNEW* SIX-LEGS WASNT LUCKY
  42. Oh, suuuuuure. Shan U and his horde are just fiiiine
  43. Get it? *Hun*ny buns?
  44. YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED
  45. REPRISE, LADIES
  46. Come on, Huns, put on some shirts
  47. these are *definitely* batman references
  48. I don't think that makes the cricket lucky
  49. Why is the secretary dude SO SEXIST
  50. He's literally just giving her what he's got on him
    "Don't feel like carrying this around anymore"
  51. Feeels
  52. YASSS grandma
  53. So Crickey's his name. I guess his drum skills are redeeming.