We all that have occasional slow silent farts that we have to let go
  1. The bookstore.
    I don't know why but bookstores make me fart so much. I just walk around browsing and farting
  2. My sister's hand
    I only did this when I was a gross ten year old boy to annoy the shit out of her.
  3. In the bathroom when you're peeing
    Am I the only who uncontrollably farts when I pee? It was so embarrassing. Which body organ that holds them fart coordinates with your kidneys??? Help me
  4. My mother and father
    Every time the sun starts to rise, my mother and father would start their daily fart-off. This only happened when we all slept in one bed. It was nice. Sometimes I'd help out but I can not be as good as my parents. They're my role models.
  5. When my friends smoke
    I don't smoke so I just fart. It is my only contribution to air pollution.
  6. When I'm all alone
    I usually sniff the shit out of my fart but if it's somebody else's I get really mad. Sometimes I touch my asshole (usually I distance it a little) and feel the air come out of my ass. It's exhilarating. Please do not get grossed out by me.