FOIBLES OF YOUR ONLINE DATING PROFILE

Baby, sit down, we gotta talk...
  1. "Into new adventures" - Lord give me strength, because this ghoulish phrase gives me chills. I'm on this app so that I don't have to leave my apartment to meet people! A "new adventure" to me is letting someone else pick the movie on Netflix. I don't need you repressing me with pics of Big Sur!
  2. "I'm passionate about" - Why are you passionate about stuff? Is this the Renaissance? Is there a plague? Zero Chill, dude.
  3. "Only into white people, sorry" - Oh, good. At least you apologized for being a backwoods fuck with an inbreeding problem and a penchant for blithely ignorance.
  4. "Masc 4 Masc" - Sorry my Hereronormcore brothers, you prob don't fully understand this phrase, but I'll break it down - what he's saying is, "I'm still uncomfortable with my sexuality and even though gay am terribly homophobic so try not to act gay around me even when we humping butts".
  5. "Just a regular, chill, dude..." - Run, bitch! Run! You just landed on a serial killer's profile! Head for the hills bb!!!!
  6. Side Note - If either of their favorite movies are "Fight Club" or "The Big Lebowski" they're oppressive.