THINGS I WILL NEVER LEARN

  1. To check where the hole is facing on the cologne bottle before I start spraying
  2. That white pants require nude color underwear
  3. To double check recipient before I send a text message
  4. That Taco Tuesday is only a suggestion
  5. To make sure I haven't accidentally dialed someone before singing in car
  6. To brush my teeth before putting a nice top on
  7. To not drink seltzer from a can unless it it my intention to burp loudly