Moments That Sucker Punched Me Today

Hey, I'm Paul. Thank you for having me. Seems like a wonderful community, and I hope I can refrain from exclusively contributing unforgivable puns.
  1. Running into the girl I loved in high school
    On my way to Washington Square Park with a 14lb burrito in hand, I ran into the girl I loved in high school. The one who I called when I walked my dog. The one I haven't seen in 7 years. The one who slept next to me in our friend's basement wearing only my extra t-shirt, while I, having never been kissed, kept to my side of the bed in case she didn't mean anything by it. She said I looked the same. She said she'll be living here for at least 2 years. I was so taken aback by her smile.
  2. Overhearing a woman on the bus to New Jersey
    Hysterically laughing, she reached into the aisle and begged my older, chubby construction worker seat-mate to take her headphones. He "[had] to listen to the best song in the world." When he guessed "The Final Countdown?" she told him it was her dead brother's favorite song.
  3. Writing my first list
    The only thing worse than a blank page is a blank private social networking profile. This went through entirely too many drafts.
  4. Getting hit by the CEO of Facebook
    Technically a Zuckerpunch. I'm sorry.