How to have a pleasant lyft pool / uber pool ride

  1. Always get in the back seat.
    The front seat is reserved for the drivers mcdonalds paper bag and gym clothes.
  2. Roll down your window.
    Create an ambient noise drowning out your drivers talking about their dreams and ambitions
  3. Wear your seat belt
    Safety is a must. Strap your self in so there's something holding you back from choking your driver.
  4. Always have a list if your favorite radio stations
    Not for them to tune into but for your own peace of mind that radio has more to offer than that one song (you know the one).
  5. Always divert to mundane conversation topics
    The weather should always be the most interesting thing you talk about. Otherwise you get into a downward spiral of how they've never been on a good date.
  6. Always keep your eyes wide open.
    It might seem like a good idea to nap. your driver is thinking the exact same thing they've probably been driving for 18 hours straight. Stay vigilant.
  7. Don't engage other passengers
    You're not at a social gathering. You are trapped in a metal box with someone you could die with.
  8. Leave on a high note
    As you're leaving make sure you leave them something to remember you by. A nice juicy silent fart. Any noise will spoil the surprise.