OFFSEASON PLANS FOR THE LA CLIPPERS
- •Chris Paul will plan an amazing family vacation but it won't be very good because his family members aren't as good as he is.
- •The team will go out to Chilli's. When the check comes, it will be passed around for hours until someone finally attempts to pay it.
- •Blake Griffin will finally start watching Mad Men but will give up during the last season.
- •Hedo Turkoglu will find the "right" t-shirt to wear under his jersey and still look cool.
- •Austin Rivers will try desperately to get an "AUS-TIN RIV-ERS" chant started everywhere he goes.
- •McDonald's, after the successful new Hamburgler campaign, will announce a new Grimace: Big Baby Davis.
- •The team will share popcorn but will never finish it because no one wants to take the last bite.
- •Matt Barnes will find a way to pick up a technical foul...in real life.
- •Chris Paul will finally get that piggy-back-ride from Dwight Howard he so desperately wanted.