OFFSEASON PLANS FOR THE LA CLIPPERS

  1. Chris Paul will plan an amazing family vacation but it won't be very good because his family members aren't as good as he is.
  2. The team will go out to Chilli's. When the check comes, it will be passed around for hours until someone finally attempts to pay it.
  3. Blake Griffin will finally start watching Mad Men but will give up during the last season.
  4. Hedo Turkoglu will find the "right" t-shirt to wear under his jersey and still look cool.
  5. Austin Rivers will try desperately to get an "AUS-TIN RIV-ERS" chant started everywhere he goes.
  6. McDonald's, after the successful new Hamburgler campaign, will announce a new Grimace: Big Baby Davis.
  7. The team will share popcorn but will never finish it because no one wants to take the last bite.
  8. Matt Barnes will find a way to pick up a technical foul...in real life.
  9. Chris Paul will finally get that piggy-back-ride from Dwight Howard he so desperately wanted.