10 BEST THINGS TO GET OFF WORK TO

  1. Jelly beans
    OG kind, none of that hip jellybelly nonsense. Preferably a bag with abnormal amount of greens and blacks
  2. Wool socks
    The woolier the better. Perhaps warmed by a fire
  3. Jokes
    I have no jokes, I will most likely reuse whatever jokes you tell me on you in the questionably near future and then claim I've made them up myself
  4. Puppies
    Because I am a perfectionist.10/10.
  5. Larry David
    He is my spirit animal
  6. Tequila/Red wine that stains everything and everyone by just being in the room/PBR/Lighter fluid
    Not picky
  7. Moody baristas
    who are secretly not moody
  8. Tortilla chips/chocolate pudding
    Classic snacking, no explanation needed
  9. Dancing
    Usually barefoot and with closed eyes. Can be done solo or in large groups. Loud Motown produces the best late night post work groove
  10. Sleep
    It's overrated unless you drift off telling bad stories and/or reading and/or having someone play with your hair and/or asking too many questions and/or you can't move because your limbs are all jumbled up with someone else's. Maybe wearing a hat.