How to Start Out the Morning

Or how I start out my own mornings
  1. Wake up
    Feeling as if my mind has just gotten into a race with the Roadrunner
  2. Lay in bed for 15 minutes
    Contemplating whether I should get up now or take a power nap
  3. Actually get up
    With many a groan and protestation
  4. Potty
    No description needed (aside from this asinine one for aesthetics sake)
  5. Looking at my closet and wondering if I have anything to wear
    Newsflash, sleepy self: you definitely do.
  6. Wake the household up
    Assuming that they have not woken me up first. No actual communication, just a shake and an announcement of the time.
  7. Cup of coffee
    Just creamer. Unless that creamer is far or sugar free, then fatten and sugar it up with some sugar. Communication begins soon after.
  8. Discussion with mother about sleeping patterns.
    "Yes, I had a good sleep. Had a dream about Ed Sheeran... You'd like him as a son-in-law, right? Good. I'll try to make it happen."
  9. Watching I Love Lucy and preparing breakfast
    The most important meal of the day with the most important show of that time period. Plus, Lucy makes me feel as if I could battle anything since she's already had a rough go of her TV day.
  10. Actually getting dressed
    That first outfit you picked when you were sleepy didn't work. But the second one after coffee does.
  11. Eating breakfast with the Golden girls
    Contemplate if I should get a cheesecake on the way home from work
  12. Look at the clock and say I have enough time to lounge
    Again... News flash; you definitely don't.
  13. Realize I have no time and run to brush teeth
    Sung to the tune of 4 minutes: "I only got two minutes to brush my teeth! Grab a brush and grab the paaaaste..." And proceed to actually brushing teeth.
  14. Run a brush through hair
    Maybe
  15. Grab shoes, forget to pack lunch and hastily do so, make two cups of coffee for the road, and make sure I have my water jug
    10 minutes or less
  16. Get into the car and curse that I didn't leave 5 minutes earlier and proceed into traffic
    In which I will curse my ill fated luck and convince myself it would have been this way even if I had left on time.