How to Start Out the Morning
Or how I start out my own mornings
- •Wake upFeeling as if my mind has just gotten into a race with the Roadrunner
- •Lay in bed for 15 minutesContemplating whether I should get up now or take a power nap
- •Actually get upWith many a groan and protestation
- •PottyNo description needed (aside from this asinine one for aesthetics sake)
- •Looking at my closet and wondering if I have anything to wearNewsflash, sleepy self: you definitely do.
- •Wake the household upAssuming that they have not woken me up first. No actual communication, just a shake and an announcement of the time.
- •Cup of coffeeJust creamer. Unless that creamer is far or sugar free, then fatten and sugar it up with some sugar. Communication begins soon after.
- •Discussion with mother about sleeping patterns."Yes, I had a good sleep. Had a dream about Ed Sheeran... You'd like him as a son-in-law, right? Good. I'll try to make it happen."
- •Watching I Love Lucy and preparing breakfastThe most important meal of the day with the most important show of that time period. Plus, Lucy makes me feel as if I could battle anything since she's already had a rough go of her TV day.
- •Actually getting dressedThat first outfit you picked when you were sleepy didn't work. But the second one after coffee does.
- •Eating breakfast with the Golden girlsContemplate if I should get a cheesecake on the way home from work
- •Look at the clock and say I have enough time to loungeAgain... News flash; you definitely don't.
- •Realize I have no time and run to brush teethSung to the tune of 4 minutes: "I only got two minutes to brush my teeth! Grab a brush and grab the paaaaste..." And proceed to actually brushing teeth.
- •Run a brush through hairMaybe
- •Grab shoes, forget to pack lunch and hastily do so, make two cups of coffee for the road, and make sure I have my water jug10 minutes or less
- •Get into the car and curse that I didn't leave 5 minutes earlier and proceed into trafficIn which I will curse my ill fated luck and convince myself it would have been this way even if I had left on time.