NAMES I'VE GIVEN ALL MY 72 TEETH

the worst idea I have ever had
  1. 1.
    The Crunchmeister
  2. 2.
    Gnawbert
  3. 3.
    D. K. Ying
    what the goddamn hell was I thinking making this list
  4. 4.
    Bobby Fissure
  5. 5.
    Nipper
  6. 6.
    Nibbler
  7. 7.
    Gnasher
  8. 8.
    Big Mawmaw
  9. 9.
    The one that when flashed signals my weakness & submission
  10. 10.
    Gargletta the Jowldweller
  11. 11.
    Uvula Henchman #1
  12. 12.
    Uvula Henchman #2
  13. 13.
    My Good Little Biteboy
  14. 14.
    Plaque Hammock
  15. 15.
    Downtown Molar Brown
  16. 16.
    Leader of the Flock
    this one has poetic potential. think about how teeth are like geese. please
  17. 17.
    Bugs
  18. 18.
    rich Yorick
    huh? fuck it
  19. 19.
    Man De Bœl
  20. 20.
    Elizabeth
  21. 21.
    Garduk-12
  22. 22.
    H.
    most tooth looking letter?
  23. 23.
    Crag The Immortal
  24. 24.
    Dente Dentata
  25. 25.
    The Kernel Keeper
  26. 26.
    Small Himalaya
    good God this is a waste of creative energy
  27. 27.
    Jawclaw
  28. 28.
    Skullchunk
  29. 29.
    Slurplurker
  30. 30.
    Weaselgnarf
  31. 31.
    Uncle Tusk
  32. 32.
    The One The Fairy Forgot
  33. 33.
    Salad Sandgrain Victim
  34. 34.
    Chocolate Ashtray
  35. 35.
    Moby-Dick; or, the Tooth
    I will never make another list
  36. 36.
    Cold Thing Alert Mechanism
  37. 37.
    Dentured Servant
  38. 38.
    Enamelissa
  39. 39.
    Caucasian Male
  40. 40.
    Snarler
  41. 41.
    Calcifrancis
    this is like serial killer McSweeney's
  42. 42.
    Lil' Sheeny sponsored by Colgate
  43. 43.
    That Chitin Bitch
    yeah I'm on Wikipedia now
  44. 44.
    Megalodonald
    ichthyologist John E. Randall was instrumental in calculating the total length of the megalodon using extrapolation from great white shark enamel
  45. 45.
    Fido
    this one's a canine
  46. 46.
    Dystopian Necklace Crown Jewel
  47. 47.
    Snarler's Shadow
  48. 48.
    Tonguefriend
  49. 49.
    Tic-tac
    I think writing this list disqualifies me from ever doing anything important
  50. 50.
    The one that would be blacked out if I lost a cartoon fight
  51. 51.
    Plastic Bag Filled with Mayonnaise
  52. 52.
    Small Jellyfish After an Hour in an Ice Cube Tray
  53. 53.
    end of an iPod charger
    so this is a list of things that barely resemble teeth now I guess. Christ
  54. 54.
    Filler Material
  55. 55.
    Ole Yeller
  56. 56.
    The Silver Fox
  57. 57.
    The one I want to take an ice skate to Castaway-style
  58. 58.
    Equilateral Evan
    life is meaningless
  59. 59.
    Dick Cavetty
    Lord help me
  60. 60.
    Bitchomper
  61. 61.
    The Buscemi
  62. 62.
    Absorbed Twin Holdover
  63. 63.
    Clacker
  64. 64.
    Pirhannah
    let's all just get through this okay
  65. 65.
    Barb-ara
    Okay barbs are sharp, like teeth are sharp.
  66. 66.
    Snagglevagin
    I guess this is how my brain works, forcing some uncomfortable pun whose reference point is a 50-year old Hanna-Barbera character??
  67. 67.
    The one that forms more like a beaky exoskeleton across my entire face
  68. 68.
    Enamel Gibson
    I know I already have two enamel jokes or something but get this: this tooth hates the JUICE. #relevant
  69. 69.
    The one that sometimes wishes it was cartilage
  70. 70.
    Mouthcloud
  71. 71.
    Bonemuffin
  72. 72.
    #72
    I've come through the wormhole to the other side. this is the best thing I've ever done