TOURIST GIVEAWAYS

  1. Overbig camera
  2. All speaking nonsense talk
  3. Weirdly trim haircuts and clean polo shirts
  4. Maybe one of them is my brother who ran away from home when he was 8 after an electrocution messed up his thoughts
  5. Always buying snowglobe shit
  6. Rude when provided age-corrected photo samples of brother (w pipe and beard but still wears macaroni necklace I made him when we were kids)
  7. Guidebooks
  8. Saying 'sorry no money' when I try to show them handwriting samples from 'I'm happy where I am don't try to find me' postcards
  9. Looking unsure whether they chose a cool place to eat
  10. Flag shirts