Not counting paperboy for The Post-Standard or temp jobs in New York.
  1. 1. McDonald's, Onondaga Blvd.
    I was sweeping the floor in front of the fry vat when the fire-suppression thing went off. Instant blizzard of white powder. Not my fault. A fan broke in the AC unit on the roof.
  2. 2. Night warehouse guy, Borden Ice Cream factory, North Syracuse.
    Plugging in a fan for the ladies on the half-gallon line, I got the cord caught in a conveyer belt, then my hand when I stupidly grabbed it. Totally my fault. The floor boss cut the belt. The EMT was an old family friend. No broken bones.
  3. 3. Teacher, Saint Joseph School, Bronx.
    4th-grade math class. Kid we'll call Thomas is calmly cutting pages out of his math book with a nice pair of scissors. I approach him from behind and casually take them. I've still got those scissors. Not sure what became of Thomas.