THINGS MY MOM WANTS TO TALK ABOUT WHILE I'M HOME
I'm visiting my mom in Chicago. These are the things she's interested in talking about:
- •Caitlyn Jenner choosing a name that's too modern. "She should have gone with something like Nancy."
- •Her theory that I'd get major acting parts if I cut my hair. "You have a nice forehead."
- •The "healthy" banana shakes at Sonic. "Chunks of real banana!"
- •How my vocal delivery sounds like Scott Disick (from Keeping Up with the Kardashians).
- •How her and my father have been dealing with an infestation of over-sized ants. (I just saw one, they are strangely large and somehow on the second floor of the house).