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  1. I went to bed last night with dread in my gut.
  2. I am not ashamed to say that when I woke up this morning and saw the results of this election I cried.
    The hardest part was keeping it together when I told my kids. They were just bewildered.
  3. I cast my vote for Clinton yesterday, but I live in a state that hasn't gone for the democratic candidate since 1964.
    At this point I am convinced they could slap the "republican" label on a bag of turds and it would win the vote here.
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  1. Kids in the car-4
    Two 8 year olds, a 4 1/2 year old and a 2 year old.
  2. Dogs-1
    Fingers crossed she doesn't get car sick and ralph but who am I kidding of course she will.
  3. Adults-2
    God help us.
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I am greatly looking forward to seeing the animated version but I will always have a special place in my heart for this live action adaptation of the classic book. It's weird and trippy and delightful and touching.
  1. Richard Kiley as The Pilot
    An incredible voice, and I dare you to watch him sing the song about having "never met a rose" without getting a lump in your throat.
  2. Amazingly inventive sets
    All of the planets that the prince visits before arriving on earth are so imaginatively done. I especially like the planet made of books where he meets the historian. Also his home planet is 💯
  3. The music
    Beautiful, fun and received an Oscar nomination.
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I'm so tired of seeing this shit on screen.
  1. Opening sequences showing a woman arriving at/walking through her place of work to show how ridiculously busy but competent she is.
    Usually she is accompanied by her work best friend/assistant who is encouraging her to be more social or open to love while said woman is handed several documents to show she's busy, drops off something thoughtful for a coworker to show she's nice, and juggling some difficult personal matter at the same time. Usually ends when her boss shows up to let her know her big break is right around the corner if she'll just double down on her efforts and she agrees to. How does she do it?!?!
  2. Adorable size 2 women who are constantly eating enormous amounts of junk food.
    Look, I know that there are a few women who are like this for real and I have nothing against them, you just keep on doing you, loves! But for some reason this has been established as some sort of mark of adorability in female characters and I feel it's overused. Hey look at that beautiful woman inhaling cheese fries! Isn't that cute! She gets grumpy without regular doses of hot wings and milkshakes but she doesn't have an ounce of fat on her! How does she do it?!?!
  3. Women who have perfectly decorated and perfectly clean homes.
    Sure, she's got 3 kids and a job that she's at 60 hours a week, the body of a dancer, and perfect hair, but somehow her house is always completely clean and orderly, despite the zany misadventures of her kids and a complete lack of support. How does she do it?!?!
  4. Women running from/to something in heels.
    I am probably biased here as a woman who walks like a newborn giraffe in heels but when I see some lady sprinting in a pair of stilettos I just don't get it. She could just kick those things off and increase her speed but instead she just keeps running. How does she do it?!?!
My cake decorating skills can best be described as "childlike" but hey, it's fun.
  1. Fish for my 3rd sons 2nd birthday.
    Used a pattern from Martha Stewart for the construction.
  2. Gibbons
    The twins were reeeeeally into gibbons that year (I mean for real, we read books, drove hours to see them at zoos, it was a fixation) and they requested cakes with an agile gibbon and a siamang gibbon. The results were laughable, but the kids loved them and that's what counts.
  3. "Cars" cakes.
    These really weren't that great, I'm just proud of my efforts because making red fondant is really hard. For an hour or so I was afraid I'd have to serve up pink cakes.
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  1. Books I hate...
    But only if they are books a bunch of other people are raving about. Not so much to be a joiner, more so that when said book is brought up I can voice my contrary opinion with confidence. Only reading half of it and saying it sucked? Not acceptable to me.
  2. Food off my children's plates...
    But only if it's especially delicious or something expensive/healthy/seasonal I really don't want to waste. Example: the fresh raspberries my son left on his plate yesterday. I learned the hard way that finishing every abandoned grilled cheese crust only leads to misery.
  3. Putting away my family's laundry....
    But not my own. Once I get all of their stuff neatly folded/hung up/put away I run out of steam and like the lazy crapbag I am I leave all of my stuff heaped on a chair in my bedroom.
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This has gotten out of control.
  1. Salt and pepper squirrels
  2. Bottle opener squirrel
  3. Salt cellar squirrel
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Shit my mom does that I thought I'd never do-right up until I caught myself doing it.
  1. I find myself wearing the same 3 outfits over and over and more and more the clothes I choose look like they could double as pajamas.
  2. While driving if I hit traffic or find myself in unfamiliar territory I turn down the radio so I can concentrate better.
    "Keep it down, kids! Mommy's trying to change lanes!"
  3. I own about 27 tubes of nude lipstick but I don't use any of them.
    None of them are quite the perfect shade, but throwing them out would feel wasteful.
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As I pour limited edition Star Wars crackers into my kids limited edition Star Wars snack cups I can't help but feel that though they marketed the crap out of this deal a few opportunities were missed. Please feel free to chime in.
  1. Star Wars brand maxi pads with "x-wings"
    Protect yourself from leaks and the evil Empire.
  2. Han Solo cups
    You: "I love this sturdy disposable cup!" Han Solo cups: "We know"
  3. Star Wars brand paternity tests
    "Look-I AM your father!"
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  1. I became self conscious of my tummy at a young age.
    I don't remember exactly when the rampant insecurity took hold, but I always had a bit of a round tummy, even though I was a slender child. I do remember feeling mortified when a kid in my fifth grade class told me I looked "pregnant ". It's always been the first place I gain weight, and even when I am at a healthy weight I feel like it looks big compared to my skinny limbs.
  2. My mom didn't really help matters...
    Looking back it is clear to me now that she had some body image issues of her own, and she sure wasn't shy about pointing out my "flaws" as she saw them. She frequently reminded me to suck in my stomach, not to tie shirts around my waist (she thought it drew attention to my large middle), and encouraged me to lose weight. All of this led to me becoming incredibly fixated on my "gut". Even after my adolescent growth spurt that left me a size 3 for most of high school.
  3. I became an expert at tummy camouflage.
    Large sweatshirts were good. Ditto oversized plaid shirts (thank you, grunge era!). When baby doll dresses got popular I cried tears of joy. Sadly crop tops were not an option-more than anything in high school I wanted to look cute in a stomach baring sweater a la Liv Tyler in Empire Records but my insecurities would not allow such things. Also one piece bathing suits were not especially "in" so my back got way more tan than my front because time at the pool was spent mostly on my stomach.
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