THINGS THAT INANIMATE OBJECTS HAVE SAID TO ME IN THE PAST 2 WEEKS

  1. Hercules. Hercules.
    Said by my breast pump. Over and over.
  2. Help me
    Also breast pump. Also over and over.
  3. Heeeyyyy
    Said by the Momaroo swing's Ocean sound
  4. The chorus to Taylor Swift's "Blank Space"
    Momaroo. To be fair, it was like 4am
  5. Alcohol
    See #1 and #2
  6. The bridge to Elle King's "Ex's and Oh's"
    1. 2. 3. They're gonna run after me. They always want to come but they never wanna leave. Said by a combination of the Mommaroo and my ceiling fan.
  7. Fuck you.
    My breast pump is kind of an a-hole. But that's probably because it's a rental.