What to Do During the First 3 Hours of Your 3-day Writing Retreat

  1. Make coffee.
  2. Bake off chocolate chip cookies.
  3. Tell the last cookie to fuck off and go away.
  4. Instagram a photo of the cookie you told to fuck off.
  5. Email/text/call everyone to say: "yes, I really do have 3 days to work on my book and isn't that exciting and shouldn't we talk about it some more?"
  6. Pick marjoram.
  7. Feed your sourdough starter.
  8. Miss your kids so much that your heart twitches.
  9. Open your computer.
  10. Listen to the mice in the walls.
  11. Close your computer.
  12. Acknowledge that you like martinis both shaken and stirred.
  13. Watch the temperature drop and drop and drop.
  14. Lovingly place marjoram on a piece of salmon that you will slow-cook after you make your way through your first chapter.
  15. Instagram the slow-cooked salmon.
  16. Write a list for @list.
  17. Vow to keep your phone out of reach, across the room, and in a drawer for the next 3 days.
  18. Open your computer again.
  19. Dive in.