An Urban Myth From My Youth, Told In Bad Sketches.

  1. I cannot tell you how many times I heard this urban myth while growing up. I heard it over a period of years from different people from different aspects of my life, in different towns.
  2. The story always took place in a convenience store. 7-11, Plaid Pantry, Circle K, whatever.
  3. A man walks in and selects a can of green beans. It was almost always green beans. Once I heard it told that he picked up a can of corn, but that just didn't seem as believable.
  4. He takes the can of green beans up and sets it on the counter. This is where it gets good.
  5. I censored the picture, but the story was that as the female clerk (important note: it was always a female employee) rings up the green beans, he take out his penis and lays it on the counter. Just lays it out there.
    In every version of the story he was...shall we say, "ready for action."
  6. He's smiling now because he's so pleased with himself. The female clerk picks up the can of green beans. And...
  7. SMASH! She totally flattens his penis. Flat as a pancake was the usual term.
  8. I heard this over and over. Always, the story teller was an authority because "my uncle saw it," or "my uncle's next door neighbor was the woman working at the Circle K," or something along those lines. It always happened in a nearby town, too. Did you hear about this?
    BTW, when I was a kid and heard this, it was the mid-late 70s.
  9. Bonus movie of the event: