Dear Mazda, this commercial pisses me off.

  1. I think that if you're going to do a job, you do it the best that you can. Sure, I have spelling errors in lists sometimes, and I could do that job better, but this is just a goofy hobby. The ad people at Mazda were paid to make this shitty commercial. And they did a bad job.
  2. Here's the ad in question, for the Mazda 3, in case you want to see a terrible ad:
  3. Here's why it's bad.
  4. It starts out showing the snappy Mazda 3 driving on a windy, country road.
    So far, so good.
  5. A smart, savvy young man is driving. He probably just graduated college and has his first job in the real world. He made a smart financial decision to buy a Mazda 3.
  6. Yup. Sort of narrow two lane road. Not much shoulder, but that's cool, because this baby handles curves so well.
  7. What a fun road to drive on. Two lanes, one each way. You'd better drive carefully, though, because right at the edge of the lanes it turns into dirt. No paved shoulder at all.
  8. Uh oh! Who's coming up on your tail fast?
  9. Okay, we need to look carefully at this shot. This is the passenger side view mirror. The cop is coming up on the car's right.
    On the right? But it's a two lane road!
  10. Look at that stern face! This cop means business, so you'd better be following each and every law to the letter.
  11. Wait. Which side of the snazzy Mazda 3 is this cop on? The right? There's no lane there!! How is this happening?!
  12. Wait. Let's check again...that's right. It's a two one road. No real shoulder.
  13. Stern cop almost, but not quite smiles, because while this great choice of a car is smile-worthy, he's still a hard nosed cop. A hard nosed cop with a heart of gold.
  14. Financially wise young man smiles and sort of waves.
  15. College grad is relieved that he made a great car choice so the hard nosed cop with a heart of gold doesn't give him a ticket.
  16. Back to the two one road. Now there's a bit of paved shoulder, but not an extra lane for the hard nosed cop with a heart of gold to drive in.
  17. Zoom-zoom.
  18. Mazda idiots! There was no lane for the cop to drive in!!! This became a terrible ad!! Are we just supposed to suspend reality and believe that at the exact moment the stern cop pulls up behind the fiscally responsible kid a spare lane opens up and closes right away as soon as the heart of gold cop passes (both judgement and the car)?
    Complete bullshit!