Free Agent List suggested by @allisonlantagne
  1. I will never forget this guy I saw downtown Portland, Oregon, near VooDoo Donut.
  2. He was clearly living on the streets and had been for some time.
  3. His had been a rough life, for reasons I'll never know.
    Not would I want to know.
  4. Obviously he's had experience with drugs. A lot.
  5. He had a lot of what I believe are referred to as "prison tattoos." Homemade. Non-professional. He had tattoos all over his arms, his shirtless chest and back, his face.
  6. Remember people gauging their ears?
  7. He'd had his gauged very wide. Huge!
    Close to this size.
  8. Had. Past tense.
  9. Here's why I remember him.
  10. Someone at some point had apparently stuck their fingers into those gauges and pulled straight down. Hard.
  11. So now he has two long, soft, uneven, dangly scraps of very stretched earlobe hanging down from his ears.
  12. Hey hung down probably two inches each.
  13. BTW, if you're ever in Portland, make the trip to VooDoo Donut. They have killer good donuts that are pretty unusual. Maple bar with two slices of bacon, Cap'n Crunch donuts, and my favorite, the Memphis Mafia: a banana fritter with chocolate frosting, peanut butter frosting drizzled on top and sprinkled with chopped peanuts.
    Expect a long line, they accept cash only. They're also expensive. The Memphis Mafia is like $5. For one. Worth it!
  14. He Memphis Mafia!
  15. Yeah, I WILL NEVER FORGET that guy. Or his ears.