1. When I was about 16, back in 1980, my dad and I had a conversation about telephones.
    Yes, back then we called phones telephones. We were lame.
  2. My dad was a telephone installer and repairman.
  3. See kids, back then everyone had landlines. Nobody even owned their own phone. Everyone rented phones. From the phone company. That was the only place to get a phone.
    When your phone broke down, you called the phone company, from a neighbor's house, because each house only had one phone. Unless you were rich. And then, two at the most.
  4. Except if you wanted to buy a Mickey Mouse phone. And those were in the range of $200!!
    Please note the cord. There was another, non-curly cord that attached the phone to the wall.
  5. So my dad starts telling me this crazy story about how he believed that one day you could make a phone call in your house, then drive to the grocery store, talking on the phone THE WHOLE WAY!!
    People at the phone company were all talking about these new phones that were looming in the future.
  6. Like...you could take your phone with you.
  7. I remember laughing so hard. "Hahahaha. How long are these phone cords, Dad?"
    "How long are these phone cords, you idiot" in my head.
  8. He claimed - get this - phones wouldn't have cords!
  9. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
  10. Phones without cords? That you can have in your car? That you could bring inside a grocery store?
  11. My dad. He was pretty smart about a lot of things, but I didn't buy this one at all.
  12. My dad died before cell phones came out. I wish I could call him from the massively powerful computer I'm holding in my hands and apologize.