NICKNAMES I GAVE THE PEOPLE I INTERACT WITH REGULARLY, SO AS NOT TO LEARN THEIR NAMES

Inspired by @siddharthainc
  1. "Little Brown Girl." Short Hawaiian gal who checks receipts at Costco.
    She's got multiple name tags, including one that reads "Little Brown Girl," so really, it's her nickname, but I use it. Also, she's like 65, so not really a "girl" except in spirits.
  2. "Tall Woman On The Right." She's a secretary at the school I work at. I've known her for eight years. Why can't I remember her name?!
    She's got a nameplate right in front of her that I see at least twice a week, so there's really no excuse.
  3. "Cute Neighbor." This actually applies to two women and I don't have different nicknames for them. I've lived less than six houses from each of them for two years. Introduced myself and learned their names twice. I can't ask again. They're both super hot and both have weird husbands.
  4. "Humbert and Bernice." These are a mated pair of hummingbirds that eat regularly at our feeder. "Bert and Bernie" for short.
    I keep asking their real names, they keep flying away.
  5. "Necklace Tattoo." Mom of a kid I used to work with. I never did know her name and she's got a weird necklace tattooed on her neck. It goes all the way around.
  6. "Toothpick Guy." He's a regular at my Starbucks and for the entire 15 years I've been seeing him, he has always vigorously chewed on toothpicks. It's kind of weird.
  7. "Creepy Jeans and Flip Flops." A teacher at my school, who wears jeans and flip flops because he thinks it's cool. He gives me the creeps, like he "likes" kids. I don't know his name, but I keep my radar up around him.
    I hate to say his, but I expect to see him on the news some day for some creepy crime.