People That I Am Going to Being John Malkovich

Inspired by @HisDudeness
  1. Pretty much anyone on American Ninja Warrior. Those guys and gals are crazy fit and look like they're having a blast. I'd love to do those obstacles, but can't do a single pull up. #AmericanNinjaMalkovich.
  2. Cheryl Strayed when she hiked the PCT. Wild Malkoviching!
    Not the drug using parts of the book, though.
  3. Kris Holm. This guy is probably the best unicyclist ever. He's the Alex Honnold of the unicyclist world. Uni Malk.
  4. Laird Hamilton. Super fit. Married to Gabrielle Reece. World's greatest big wave surfer. INVENTED stand up paddle boarding. I'm quite straight and a little turned on by those rugged good looks. Bastard. Malkoviched.
  5. Stone Gossard. Guitar player for Pearl Jam. Can you imagine getting to hang with Ed Ved, watch him sing every night, hang out with Mike, Jeff, Matt and Boom AND play guitar like that? This guy is too cool. Stone Malkoviching.
    Definitely long haired Stone, too. Plus, his name is STONE!!
  6. Me. This is a picture that was going to be used for a book cover. My friend Glenn and I came up with a vague idea for a book, decided I needed a wild mustache for the cover photo. All we ever did to write the book was have me grow this mustache. Ahh, youth. But the bottom line is that my life is great. Self Malkoviching!