Things I guarantee I'll do next time I'm on Chopped.

That's right, I said "next time" despite not having been on it at all yet. I think I'd have a better shot the second time around, so I'm skipping the first time. Also, I'm not a great cook and wouldn't make the tryouts. But I love watching the show and a guy can dream, can't he?
  1. Use the Blast Chiller in the appetizer round. What happens if I get chopped on round one and don't get a shot at using that Blast Chiller? Forget it. I'm not risking that happening. I will for sure find a way to use it in round one.
    A Blast Chiller is a high priority in my dream kitchen.
  2. Salt the food the second it comes out of the deep fryer or sauté pan. This is a huge mistake I see happen time and time again. Not with me!
  3. Season the food. How does anyone go on Chopped and not season the food. Bland dish? Chopped! Didn't toss on some salt immediately after frying? Chopped!
  4. Scream "It's chorizo mother$&%*ers!" at the top of my lungs, aimed at the judges. I saw Aarón Sanchez yell this when he was cooking and it's a dream of mine to repeat that.
    A little pandering never hurts, but I'll call it fan-boying.
  5. Not put mashed potatoes in the whipped cream dispenser. If it works, you've got a home run on your hands, but if it won't come out you're screwed. It never works. They should all quit trying this.
  6. Get the ice cream out of the ice cream machine before it turns into butter. I've seen that happen too many times.
    Also, find he instruction manual for the ice cream machine online and read it. How many people try to use it without knowing how? Too many!
  7. But mostly use the Blast Chiller. That is the most bad-ass kitchen gadget ever. I don't care if the rules said that we must present only hot foods, I would find a way to use the Blast Chiller.
    I capitalize Blast Chiller out of deep respect.