Why Are People Calling My Name?

I'm not worried.
  1. I can't even guess accurately how many times I've heard someone call my name out in the past couple of weeks.
  2. 40? 60? I dunno.
  3. But...every time I look, they're not talking to me.
  4. It's always in a crowded environment.
  5. I'm pretty sure that most of the times I've heard "Bill!" they didn't even say that word in reasonable conversation.
    Like "Oh, I paid that bill last week."
  6. I'm pretty sure that maybe only 1 of those people said "Bill" at all and they weren't speaking to me.
  7. So I'm not really hearing it.
  8. I just think I'm hearing it.
  9. If this were someone else I'd say they were hearing things.
  10. It would remind me of A Beautiful Mind.
    But since it's me I'd call it A Homely Mind. Ha.
  11. Maybe I'll get that hearing test my wife has been after me to get.
  12. Or maybe I'll just start pretending I'm famous and it's the paparazzi calling after me for a photo and sound bite.
  13. I'm going to start acting aloof.
  14. Screw the paparazzi.