there's something about entering a grocery store that seems to drastically lower everybody's iq
  1. "those are carrots."
    this was pointed out to me by a customer as i was looking up the plu code for carrots and not in fact a description of these pointy orange vegetables in front of me. the code is 4560, by the way.
  2. "i can't find the place to put cash in."
    said to me, i don't know, 50+ times when i was running the self checkout. all of these times were instances in which the machine they were using was currently not accepting cash and there were bright blue signs elucidating this fact everywhere.
  3. "the card reader is waiting on you."
    also said (read: screamed) many, many, Many times when i ran the self checkout. to clarify, when you swipe your card on a self checkout card reader, it will ask on the machine's main screen whether you want debit or credit, and the card reader will say "waiting on cashier" until you do so. you know what's cool about using the self checkout? You Are Literally Your Own Cashier.
  4. "what, the fact that i'm on the phone?"
    this one wasn't really stupid so much as infuriating. it was snarled at me by a customer who was, indeed, on the phone as she walked up to my line while i was mid-conversation with a coworker. in response to something my colleague had said, i remarked "oh god i find that so annoying" and the customer assumed i was talking about her. like, no i wasn't but yeah, since you're apparently so self-aware, i do find it incredibly rude and annoying that you're on the phone.
  5. "do you work here?"
    asked by many a customer as i stood in front of my register, in uniform, sporting a nametag. no, sir, i just wear this hideous blue polo for fun and i want everyone to know my name is ryan and i have been serving you, specifically, since 2013.
  6. "are you open?"
    probably the most frequent question i received; most often it was asked by a customer standing directly in front of a sign blocking the entrance to my lane that read "CLOSED." bonus points if my light was off and i was blatantly counting my till. i think most of the time this was asked not out of stupidity but the expectation that i would drop everything for this Very Important Customer. the answer was most often no.