THINGS BEYOND MY CONTROL THAT I SPEND A GREAT DEAL OF TIME WORRYING ABOUT

alternatively: things lexapro apparently can't protect me from
  1. how stupid i must have looked when i did that one thing a really long time ago in front of people i didn't even know
  2. humidity
  3. all the turtles and squirrels trying to cross the street right now
  4. a group of people laughing or whispering as they walk behind me
    because everything is always about me apparently
  5. whether or not my cat is happy
  6. the inevitability of my cat's death
  7. being pregnant
    even though i am 1) on birth control and 2) not sexually active
  8. the fates of my favorite characters in the walking dead
  9. whether or not my friends all secretly hate me and hang out just so they can talk about how much they hate me
    a definitely legitimate fear also provoked by my belief that everything is always about me
  10. accidentally eating moldy food
  11. accidentally sitting in something that stains my pants
  12. accidentally sleeping through all 6 of my morning alarms
  13. whether or not my professor will think i am lazy and apathetic because i missed class after accidentally sleeping through all 6 of my morning alarms
  14. a brain aneurysm
  15. somehow forgetting a really important assignment/quiz/test and coming to class unprepared
  16. why any given person who stopped talking to me at some point must hate me so much
  17. all the things i could have done differently in my whole entire life