I should be a lawyer.
  1. Frozen Yogurt
    You put fruit on it. It's yogurt. With some Unavoidable sugar. 16 Handles is right near my house, and the universe wouldn't be so cruel unless it was a healthy choice.
  2. Veggie Lover's Pizza
    The dough is really just a spoon that the mounds of vegetables lay on. And the cheese is just there to make sure the veggies know their place. And that pool of grease on top is there to make the veggies look their best.
  3. Chips and Salsa
    So. Many. Tomatoes. And edible silverware (aka chips) are better for the environment. Leo DiCaprio would be so proud of me.
  4. Burgers
    Just slap some avocado on that bad boy, and it totally evens out.
  5. Pasta
    It's a three-ingredient food. So. That's all it takes to be healthy, right?
  6. Grilled Cheese
    Dairy. Boom.