5 PLACES YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX
If you're anything like me, sex is something that doesn't have to be filthy. A condom is complicated enough so let's not spice up our sex life, k Bae?
- 1.The beach - seriously fuck the sand and the crabs and the shit going up your ass that shouldn't be there
- 2.The club - are you gross? Do you want disease? Do you want to go where every man and woman has gone before?
- 3.A motel - if cockroaches and the fact that motels are the go-to last minute sex joints don't weird you out, have at it. Just don't come crying to me when the bathtub bleeds blue
- 4.The park - parks are wide open spaces filled with parents and kids and old people that will judge you for being the gross animals that you are
- 5.Any house but your own - Do not, I repeat DO NOT do it at your grandparents or your mums or even your bae's. And if worst comes to worst, know your escape routes