TERRIBLE CASTING DECISIONS
- •Andie MacDowell in Four Weddings and a FuneralShe's so hopeless with the dry British dialogue, she doesn't even know when she's telling a joke. There are whole scenes that are supposed to be funny or sarcastic and she has no idea what's going on. This otherwise delightful movie, with a charming breakout performance by Hugh Grant, is hindered by her flat, dumb Americanness. She delivers on none of the wit or sass written into her charming character and has no chemistry with Hugh Grant at all. Shoulda been: Julia Roberts?
- •Jon Cryer in Pretty in PinkJon Cryer as Duckie is pretty great, but there is no point at which it seems possible that Andie will end up with him, and of course she should. This is one of my favorite teen movies of all time, and the sad truth is that neither love interest in that bizarre love triangle is right or worthwhile for Andie. Molly Ringwald herself said that she and Jon Cryer had no chemistry and lamented the fact that Duckie wasn't played by Robert Downey Jr. Now that woulda been a gamechanger!
- •Matthew McConaughey in anything where he's supposed to be likableGive me creepy MM in True Detective, Dallas Buyers Club or even Magic Mike (boy he is gaunt and cringeworthy), and I am a big fan, I even find him somehow appealing as a creep. But as soon as he tries to be a leading man, romantic charmer or just a good guy, I am fully not on board. Cannot handle it, don't buy it, and want nothing to do with it. Bring on the Cohle!
- •Channing Tatum in anything where he's not dancingHe can keep his clothes on if he wants. Any dancing is fine, including the teen dance movie stylings of Step Up. But he doesn't need to talk ever.
- •Kristen Stewart in those damn Twilight moviesI don't mind Kristen Stewart, but when you get paid a bunch of money to be in a terrible, badly written (and anti-feminist) teen franchise, the least you can do is own it. Just go for it. Make it the heart-wrenching cringe-inducing teen melodrama it has the potential to be. Don't just freeze up and look so completely mortified, awkward and embarrassed the whole time. Her pathetic, non-existent performances made bad and boring material that much worse. Shoulda been: someone with a sense of humor
- •Rachael McAdams in Midnight in ParisShe just couldn't do entitled bitchy fiancéSuggested by @maggzerts
- •Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New YorkSuggested by @shanaz
- •Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Dark KnightI was just bitter about the discontinuitySuggested by @santa
- •Aaron Taylor-Johnson in Godzilla. Dude seemed like he was sleepwalking fighting a giant lizard.Suggested by @Harmonica