THAT TIME MISCHA BARTON STAYED AT MY PLACE FOR A WHILE

A surreal LA story
  1. This guy was subletting my apartment for 3 months while my roommate and I were both working out of town. He asked if his friend could stay while he went to his brother's wedding.
  2. His friend was Mischa Barton.
  3. My first thought was, this guy is punking me.
  4. My second thought was, I didn't know he was that funny.
  5. Because we have an inordinate amount of OC paraphernalia in our house.
  6. a magnet I made of Marissa and Ryan that says "I want to tell you all that is in my heart," proudly displayed on the fridge
  7. a framed photo of Marissa, Ryan and Seth that looks like they are our friends
  8. some recent fan art portraits my roommate made while rewatching the OC, including one of Marissa with the caption "I Love Vodka"
  9. (We aren't crazy. We gave those gifts to each other, as a joke, and not in a creepy stalker way. But we do love the OC.)
  10. My third thought was, oh my god if Mischa stays in my place she's going to forget to lock the door or have wild parties or drink all my booze.
  11. (I'm not sure if Mischa has the same vices as Marissa. I'm sure I judged her unfairly.)
  12. My last thought was, why the hell would she wanna stay here? I don't even have air conditioning.
  13. When I got home all my booze was gone, including the weird stuff like brandy and cognac that I stole from my dad that no one ever drinks, and the words "all that is in my heart" were ripped off the magnet.
  14. I imagine her sweltering here, swigging cognac that she hides in her clutch, coming face to face with that magnet, and tearing it apart in a fit of unrealized dreams.