THINGS MY NEW PUPPY DID BY 11AM TODAY

Y'all, we got a Basset Hound and named her Angela Basset Hound and she's the worst. But like so cute.
  1. This morning I woke up to pee and she followed me into the bathroom and shredded my $12 lace panties.
  2. She ate my Bagel & Lox.
  3. Took a massive shit that smelled like the Holocaust.
  4. Found a tampon applicator in the garbage and very much enjoyed it.
  5. Helped my boyfriend take his pants off. Like physically pulled them off with her teeth.