KARDASHIAN STATISTICS AND GENERAL INFORMATION
These are based on tabloid headlines as observed in the supermarket checkout line.
- •A Kardashian is dumped every 6.1 days on average.
- •Most Kardashians are dumped within one month of bearing a child.
- •The average Kardashian gains 4 pounds per week.
- •The average Kardashian loses 4 pounds per week.
- •Most professional athletes are currently dating a Kardashian.
- •Kardashians can usually be found beneath bolded capital letters saying such things as "REVENGE BODY" and "DUMPED AT A WEDDING--AGAIN!"
- •The best way to get a Kardashian to have your baby is to dump any Kardashian.