Inspired by @rebeccaschinsky
  1. Reading is kind of pointless.
  2. Alcohol is the devil's elixir.
  3. Yes, feel free to comment upon, touch, etc. my tattoos without my consent; personal boundaries are for the weak.
  4. No thank you, I do not want to pet your dog (/cat/rabbit/other adorable fuzzy animal).
  5. A library serves no real purpose in the digital age.