GUYS I'LL DATE IN THE NEXT 10 YEARS

  1. A med student with $100,000 in student debt who's applying for residency programs across the U.S.
  2. A malnourished abstract artist who always wears cool shoes, but has moderate acne
  3. An accountant in his early 30's who won't text me back during tax season
  4. A bartender at an exclusive restaurant downtown, working to pay his way through mortuary school
  5. A struggling singer/songwriter who is estranged from his family and washes his shoulder-length hair once a week
  6. A caramel-complected foreigner with a temporary visa who asks me to marry him to gain U.S. citizenship
  7. Anyone with a Y chromosome