Requested by Blake

MY IDEAL SATURDAY

Requested by @blakebass
  1. I wake up at 10:05, just in the nick of time to get through the McDonald's drive-thru before they switch over to the lunch menu
  2. I order a #7
    Southern style chicken biscuit. 1 hash brown (extra crispy). 32 oz Diet Dr. Pepper (lite ice)
  3. I come home and eat my meal, pleasantly surprised that my request for an extra crispy hash brown was not ignored
  4. I sit on ass for the next 7 hours
    Preferably watching Chopped on the Food Network.
  5. I shower
  6. & maybe shave my legs
    3% chance
  7. I apply a winged eyeliner with even thickness and crisp edges
  8. I dress to kill
  9. I notice I look good
    And become intensely CONFIDENT
  10. I start drinking Miller Lites
    Disappointed in the effect, I switch to shots of liquor shortly after
  11. Once adequately sauced, I head to the bar
  12. I sing karaoke and conveniently give the best vocal performance of my life
    Patrons go wild
  13. I kiss everyone
    And everyone's impressed with how good I am at kissing
  14. I go home
  15. @blakebass lies next to me in bed and asks me to count sheep for him
  16. I deny his request
  17. We listen to Mariah Carey's "Butterfly" album on shuffle until we fall into a deep slumber