THINGS I'VE DONE IN COLLEGE THAT I WON'T BE ADDING TO MY RESUME

  1. Spent the night in a 5 star hotel with a 30-year-old millionaire.
  2. Took a selfie with a man who murdered his wife the next day.
  3. Attended a KFC taste testing event and got paid $20 for my opinion on their potato wedges.
  4. Lost my virginity to a gay guy.
  5. Ate a lipstick stained Chilito from Skyline.
  6. Dropped my iPhone in a Port-a-Pot at a Jeremih concert.