TYPES OF PEOPLE ON MY NEIGHBORHOOD MESSAGE BOARD

Oh, suburbia.
  1. Racists
    Because anyone brown in a parked car is about to rob you.
  2. Animal lovers
    "I already have eleven foster dogs; if you don't take this one it will be MURDERED and her worm-ridden blood will be on your hands!"
  3. Complainers
    "I thought my HOA fees guaranteed my perfect happiness at all times!"